Saturday, January 19, 2008

How to stimulate submarine life in your own home

David sent this to me last night and i was laughing so hard. So here is a glimps into how you make make you lif into a submarine life.... I hope you enjoy...
How to Simulate Submarine Life in your own Home:

Obtain a dumpster. Paint it black, weld all the covers shut except one which can be bolted closed from the inside. Hitch it to the back of your wife's mini van. Gather 12 friends and bolt yourselves inside and let your wife pull it around for several weeks while she does the errands.
Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain. shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack".
Don't eat any food that you don't get out of a can or have to add water to.
Paint all the windows on your car black. Drive around town at high speeds with your wife standing up in the sunroof shouting course and speed directions to you.
Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping.
Repeat back everything anyone says to you.
Sit in your car for six hours a day with your hands on the wheel and the motor running, but don't go anywhere.
Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High".
Don't watch T.V. except movies in the middle of the night. Also, have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one.
Record The Sound of Music and show it at least every other night.
Don't do your wash at home. Gather your neighbors clothes along with yours, pick the most crowded Laundromat you can find, and do the neighborhood laundry in a single washer and dryer. Make sure that 12% of the laundry is lost and 20% of the finished laundry is incorrectly distributed to the wrong neighbor.
Leave lawnmower running in your living room six hours a day for proper noise level. (For Engineering Divisions)
Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
Take hourly readings on your electric and water meters.
Sleep with your dirty laundry.
Invite guests, but don't have enough food for them.
Buy a broken exercise bicycle and strap it down to the floor in your kitchen.
Buy a trash compactor and use it once a week.
Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.
Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread, if anything. (Optional--canned ravioli, cold soup, or cherry peppers)
Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator.
Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can, then run out into your yard and break out the garden hose. Once a month and then put them back together.
Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before drinking. Invite at least 85 people you don't really like to come and visit for a couple of months.
Store your eggs in your garage for two months and then cook a dozen each morning.
Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
Periodically check your refrigerator compressor for "sound shorts".
Put a complicated lock on your basement door and wear the key on a lanyard around your neck.
Lock wire the lug nuts on your car.
When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan while it is baking. Then spread icing really thick on one side to level off the top.
Every so often, yell "Emergency Deep", run into the kitchen, and sweep all pots/pans/dishes off of the counter onto the floor. Then, yell at your wife for not having the place "stowed for sea".
Put on the headphones from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in front of your stove. Say (to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready". Stand there for 3 or 4 hours. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove secured". Roll up the headphone cord and put them away. Write a controlled work package to change the oil

Friday, January 11, 2008


I know... I know... You never thought it would happen but it has I have FINALLY posted pictures of our house. But you have to promise to continue to look at my page every now and then because i am starting to get into this blog thing. So we have a basement also but it isn't pictured because it is a mess of boxes that we are still deciding weather to we want to save them for out move or if we want to buy new ones (or steal them off the side of the road like i did before from navy housing on bulk days) :-) But when it starts looking better i will post a picture.

Things that we have done have been to repaint our bedroom and David put in our pantry, it was an empty hole and now it is AMAZING!!! Thank you so Much!!! It was nice to get our food put away.

So our plans for this house/condo is to re-do the kitchen, put in an outlet for the island and to also put in a dishwasher. I miss that a lot. We are also going to re-do the cabinets. We are planning on putting a cabinet on the far side of the dining room wall and then that one will be done. Oh and curtains but all of that will have to wait that is our 2nd to biggest project. Our biggest is finishing the basement. It will be a lot of work but it will be a good thing for resale and our smallest of the big projects is to carpet the front room so that when we do have kids (one of these days) they will have a soft place to crawl.

We love this house so much. I was asked the other day if I ever get scared being by myself and I have yet to freak out about that. It has such a good feeling about it and it helps that when Kim changed to locks on the door he put the dead bolt right side up and the door knob upside down. I figure no one is going to take the time to find out how to unlock a door upside down... Thanks Kim...

On a side note... David is out to sea again. We figure that he will be gone all of 4.5 months this year and will have a 6 month deployment at the end of that... So I am going to try to keep myself busy. This year is going to fly by so fast though. We hope all is going well for everyone else and we send our love.

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